A Wise Man, a Bird, and a Fist-Fight

I took the LA Bus today. It was one of the most eventful ten minutes of my life.

First, a man who was dressed like one of the three wise men- full turban and all- came on the bus and sat down... on my lap. Which was weird for several reasons, but mostly because we had made eye contact right before it happened. It was quite an awkward moment when I had to ask him to get up. He did and then proceeded to tell me about the Christmas pageant that he is starring in. And I guess I would believe him if it didn't look like he has been living in the costume for three years.

The next stop brought a man with a parakeet on his shoulder. The bus driver confronted the man, said he can't have pets on the bus. This angered said bird-man and caused him to angrily flap his arms around while screaming about the Constitution (seriously). The altercation climaxed as the bird sprang from the man's shoulder and flew around the inside of the bus. This delighted some, frightened others. I sat mouth agape until the man whistled, left the bus, as the bird flew behind him.

The homeless couple in front of me, who had been sleeping peacefully were woken up by the events. The man went to put his head back on the woman's shoulder and she pushed his head away. He kept trying and trying, and she finally got up and moved to a different seat on the other side of the aisle. He followed. She moved. He followed. She got so fed up that she scratched his face and punched him square in the nose, which began to bleed and drip onto the aisle.

I pulled the cord and got off at the next stop.