When Can't You Park Here?

(Besides Monday from Noon-3)

I've been too busy on Second Life...

... to post here.

Ok, that's a lie. Well, not entirely. I did join Second Life.

I decided (after I saw that episode of "The Office") that I wanted to check out second life, just to see what it was like. And to see what I would look like if I had bigger breasts.

When becoming part of second life, you choose your first name and then are forced to choose from a list of last names. I became Celeste Weatherwax. I am still disappointed with my choice.

The first step is designing your online person. I wanted one that looked like me (like my Mii), but instead was given feature choices that left something to be desired. I ended up looking like a balding forty year old Vegas cocktail waitress (with a killer rack).

Disgruntled, I finished up my orientation process, in which you learn how to move, communicate, and buy land (?). The whole time I was doing orientation, another Second Lifer named "Gigantic Jonson" was trying to talk to me. I had not yet learned how to communicate to tell him to leave me alone, so all I could do was run. Then I found a Segue (!) and got as far away from him as possible. I had lost him, when another man named Eli Baumgarden wanted to chat. He wanted me to tell him about America (he was Israeli). I just wanted to get out of there and figure out a way to make my boobs smaller so that these men would leave me alone.

I got back on my segue and rode to the bottom of a mountain. I ran up the side of the mountain until I found a quiet spot. I just wanted to be left alone. I realized as I was sitting there, all alone, that maybe I am not ready to be part of an online community. Maybe I am not ready to have a Second Life, full of Gigantic Jonsons and self pity. I guess I just like my first life a lot more.

I logged off and never looked back.